I’m asking myself why would I marry someday?
Kalau gue ingat-ingat kayaknya udah hampir satu dekade gue gak upacara bendera setiap tanggal 17 Agustus (anjaaeee tua bener ya gue hahaha). Dan, setelah sekian lama akhirnya kemarin gue ikutan lagi upacara bendera. Daaann,, upacara kali ini istimewa karena upacaranya diadakan di atas lumpur! What? Iya, beneran tepatnya di pesisir Marunda, Jakarta Utara.
I get a little teary (lie! it’s a river actually) obviously when someone shows their affection. Not only to me, but to see my friend getting worry about her father could trigger my eyes to produce tons of tears.
Anyway, I got pretty sensitive lately. I cried over little things and suddenly I could burst into tears when I’m alone. But when people ask if I’m okay I will say I’m okay but getting angry when people think that I’m really okay.
And sorry for giving you such a cold words or rude words. Please be patient of me.
Is it true that we always need to share the same interest with somebody to make a close relationship?
I joked about suicide as a coping mechanism. It makes it not real and it’s a form of denial for me. Sometimes it was a small cry for help. But when others treat it like it really is just a joke… it hurts. What can i do to restrain myself when others obviously agrees with the voices inside my head?
[7/6, 21:35] me: mending gua lompat dari jembatan juanda
[7/6, 21:35] d: Silahkan
[7/6, 21:35] d: Tp bilang disini dulu
[7/6, 21:35] c: Live ig sekalian
[7/6, 21:35] d: Jd gua bisa saksikan secara live :v
[7/6, 21:36] c: Hapenya pake case anti crack
[7/6, 21:36] b: Sip gw rekamin sapa tau laku dijual
[7/6, 21:36] a: lu klo mau bunuh diri live bilang
[7/6, 21:36] a: nanti abis mati hpnya gua ambil
that’s legit what they said
June 23rd, 1989 my mom was in between life and death. To bring me to this world. 28 years of my life I can only say thank you which I know it’s never enough and never worth anything compare to her hardship. All of my 28 years I don’t do or give her good. But what I realise the most now, I get much more than I deserve. Too much love from Allah and people around me. What to sigh? :”)
This is my second time. Feel miserable and stupid to fall in the same hole twice. Harus mulai dari awal lagi. Actually I believe (always believe) that I can’t survive without someone who can guide me. I need a guide, or a map at least.