Things Are Gonna Be OK!

They said it’s always nice to hear someone said “things are gonna be okay” when you’re in a trouble.

However, that’s not the case for me. I always want more. To see that you really understand me and my feeling. I can’t feel your sympathy by saying things are gonna be okay.

How You Supposedly React To a “Drama”?

I joked about suicide as a coping mechanism. It makes it not real and it’s a form of denial for me. Sometimes it was a small cry for help. But when others treat it like it really is just a joke… it hurts. What can i do to restrain myself when others obviously agrees with the voices inside my head?

[7/6, 21:35] me: mending gua lompat dari jembatan juanda
[7/6, 21:35] d: Silahkan
[7/6, 21:35] d: Tp bilang disini dulu
[7/6, 21:35] c: Live ig sekalian
[7/6, 21:35] d: Jd gua bisa saksikan secara live :v
[7/6, 21:36] c: Hapenya pake case anti crack
[7/6, 21:36] ‪b‬: Sip gw rekamin sapa tau laku dijual
[7/6, 21:36] ‪a: lu klo mau bunuh diri live bilang
[7/6, 21:36] ‪a‬: nanti abis mati hpnya gua ambil

that’s legit what they said

Continue reading

Too Much Love





June 23rd, 1989 my mom was in between life and death. To bring me to this world. 28 years of my life I can only say thank you which I know it’s never enough and never worth anything compare to her hardship. All of my 28 years I don’t do or give her good. But what I realise the most now, I get much more than I deserve. Too much love from Allah and people around me. What to sigh? :”)

Continue reading

Get Hopes Up

get your hope up:
“to make you think that what you want is going to happen.”
Usage notes: usually said when something is not likely to happen

That’s what the dictionary said. Well, basically it should wake me up from daydreaming.

Sebelum semuanya nampak nyata ya bersabar. Be patient and keep praying.

Now you know the keyword. What’s with the worry?

Be patient,, let’s breathe and smile more often. :))

Don’t be the victim of your own mind, dear!

Love yourself and let the world feel your love so they will love you back.


Happy girls are the prettiest -Audrey Hepburn-

Kata Teteh Audrey begitu. Jadi mesti sering-sering happy dan tersenyum kalau mau cantik. Hidupnya gimana dulu kali ya kalau mau terus happy?

Not too pretty to be happy,, pretty girls often have an easy life. Or they make it easy. Or other people make it easy for them. Or yeah semesta mendukung mereka buat happy.

I’m a dramaqueen they said, well yes so what? The words existed because there is dramaqueen person like me. Why don’t you try to like me the way I am? Or simply support me? How? By not telling me that I am lebay? Easy right?

Please people, lelah………………….

Don’t judge me for being who I am

Aku akan terus tersenyum dan tertawa kok,, I’m :))